Wednesday, July 8, 2015

Boy or Girl?

Baby Lim @ Week 19

Some of the most common questions we have had the last few months have been:

"When are you due?"
"Is it a boy or a girl?"
"Would you like to have a boy or a girl?"
"Did you have morning sickness?"
"How did you find out you were pregnant?"
"Was it a swiss-made baby?" (This came when we told them we got pregnant in early Jan, when we were on our Switzerland trip)


Bumpie (kennethstephanie.com)
Pregnancy @ Week 20
This is usually the time most couples find out and confirm the gender of the baby.

We are very blessed to have many friends & loved ones showing us concern & love as we embark on this brand new journey of having this little one growing inside me and we never get tired of answering these questions.

"Is it a boy or a girl?" ranks #1 on the most asked question with the biggest response when we give our answer: "We don't intend to find out the gender of the baby. We will only find out when the baby is born and the gynaecologist announces "It's a boy!" or "It's a girl!"."

Reactions from friends & family range from amusement, to shock, to disbelief, to curiosity & many a times, a "debate" on why we made this choice.

We thought we'd share some of the BABY FAQs we have had when friends & family heard we weren't finding out the gender of our baby were:

#1 How would you shop & buy things for the baby?! You can't buy clothes & decorate the nursery with the typical gender-related colors right?


Steph: Well, we'd get gender neutral colors (yellow, white, red, green to name a few) and for the hand me downs, we've got some for a girl and some for a boy. Either way, the baby nor people would notice what our baby wears when he or she is at home and wrapped up like a cocoon in the first month. After that, we'd definitely stock up baby's wardrobe to overflow to suit him or her!

Kenneth: Anyway who defines that boys should wear blue and girls should wear pink? And I don't think my 0 month old baby would be protesting much regarding his/her fashion choices. ;)

#2 How would you name your child this way? Will you be picking a gender-neutral name?


Steph: We are coming up with a name for each gender, definitely not a gender-neutral name for us!

Kenneth: If you really think about it, it's not that difficult to come up with the name for the baby. We would just have some male and female choices. If all else fails, we will see what kinda of name the face looks when he/she is born. Hopefully not a laksa face. :P

#3 But I'm sure you would be able to see when you look at the ultrasound right? How can the gynaecologist not scan & accidentally show you?


Steph: It is Ken's job to remind the gynaecologist every single time we go in for our consultation and scan & I must say Kenneth has been doing a great job. The gynaecologist respects our stand and has avoided scanning the part which would reveal the gender of our baby. During the detailed scan, our sonographer was very professional & quick in scanning the vital part to check that the baby has what he or she needs to have without us even realising or catching it on the screen.

Kenneth: I think it might be quite obvious too, so I avoid explicitly looking at the genitals. Our gynaecologist knows we don't want to know the gender so he tries to avoid scanning the genitals as well. Even if he knows, he wouldn't be telling us too.

#4 Why do you not want to know? How can you stand not knowing immediately?


Steph: We have no preference whether we're having a boy or a girl & it won't change how much we already love this baby. Also, knowing the gender would also not change the things we would need to prepare and buy - we still need the stroller, cot, baby clothes etc, don't you agree?

Kenneth: Well there isn't really a need for us to know, so we are fine with not knowing. And it would be a lovely surprise when the baby is delivered. It's like opening a birthday present and it's literally our baby's birthday!

Bumpie (kennethstephanie.com)
Pregnancy @ Week 19 and baby was the size of a red pepper :) Will our baby be a boy like our Slurpee or a girl?

Upon finding out we were pregnant, one of the first thing we discussed was whether we wanted to know the gender of our baby. During the second consultation with the gynaecologist, we were also asked if we wanted to take the Oscar test, which is a screening test to check for chromosomal abnormalities, more specifically, to check for Down Syndrome. We asked ourselves if it would made a difference whether the baby is a boy or a girl, and would we choose to abort the pregnancy if we found out the baby has Down Syndrome, and in both situations, our answer was a "No."

So it was quite an easy decision to choose not to take the Oscar test and not to find out the gender of our baby. We had decided in our heart that what was most important was that this child is a miracle and whatever God gives to us in and with this child, we would accept and love the child wholeheartedly. Be it a boy or a girl, this child would be showered with love & treasured, we had no preference for either gender.

There was a detailed scan that we did do at Thomson Women Medical during Week 19 and it took about 45 minutes for the sonographer to check EVERYTHING, to make sure the baby was growing healthily and well. It was certainly a very exciting & fun experience both Ken & I looked forward to eagerly.

As a typical first time pregnant couple, we had tons of questions & being very outspoken, Kenneth bombarded the sonographer throughout the whole scan & we are so thankful she was very patient & accommodating. She answered every single patiently and was very gentle as she did the ultrasound! Baby was sitting in a position with the legs crossed so I was asked to adjust my positions a few times to encourage baby to move into a better position. But like me, baby can be a bit stubborn so it took awhile to get the view of certain organs ;)

During the detailed scan, they will scan the major organs of the baby - brain, heart, lungs, liver, facial formation, hands & feet and look at each of those in GREAT detail. For example, when they scanned the heart, they had to make sure that there were 4 heart chambers, that the heart valves are opening & closing correctly, even that the blood flow is correct. Wow, we were amazed at how advance technology is such that they could see and measure all these to such great details! Here were some of the screenshots the nice sonographer printed out for us:

Baby's Tiny Feet were caught doing air cycles in there

Baby's Legs were crossed the whole time & moving actively like he or she was cycling

Baby's Hands were moving a lot too and once we even caught a screen grab of the fist

Baby's Hands were constantly moving. This is one active baby!


Baby's Lips - We were amazed that we could see details like the lips and the nostrils

A close up of baby's side profile. My mother-in-law says this baby has very prominent features! 

We even took baby's heartbeat and it was about 150-160 beats per minute. Super fast!

We are so thankful to hear that everything seemed great on the detailed scan & all the measurements are in the average, healthy range. We also found that baby weighed 255g that day, the weight of 2 iPhone 6, that's so tiny. 21 more weeks before we get to see and touch and hold baby in our arms!

So here's the million dollar question, do you think he's a boy or she's a girl? Let us know in the poll below. The results will be released in October. ;)

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